If you’re a high-achieving professional, entrepreneur, or coach who struggles with focus, emotional swings, or overwhelm, maybe this thought has crossed your mind:
"Do I have ADHD?"
If it has, you wouldn’t be alone by any stretch of the imagination.
Over the past few years, there’s been an explosion of ADHD and neurodivergence awareness; with more and more adults who don't fit the old 'stereotype' of ADHD either self-diagnosing or seeking formal diagnosis.
It's been a hot topic - particularly among leaders, founders and the entrepreneurial community - as more and more people have become aware of the subtle (but no less challenging) signs and struggles caused by neurodivergence that have come to light only in recent years.
Me being one of those people.
Yep, I'm Abi - and I'm one of those forty-something high achievers who doesn't outwardly show any signs of hyperactivity or disruptive behaviour - quite the opposite, in fact, I'm the archetypal good girl; a people pleaser through and through; much more likely to be found blending in and smiling sweetly than playing class comic - yet I've had to work hard to function with any kind of structure; can lose hours thanks to hyperfocus and time blindness; have a brain that can't sit still because it's always on to the next shiny thing; and have only in recent years overcome the crippling rejection sensitivity that coloured my every interaction (thanks to the awesomeness of a little thing called IEMT).
Yup, I tick a lot of boxes on the 'new' ADHD scorecard. Not as many as I used to, thanks to the work I've done on my mind along the way (more on that in a moment), but let's just say it's no co-incidence there's a butterfly in our logo!
ADHD is Suddenly Big Business
Unless you've been under a rock, you can't have failed to notice the explosion in ADHD-focused coaches, productivity hacks, and the countless personal stories that finally make sense of those experiences and prove we're not alone.
I know, it can feel like a huge relief to finally have a label for the thing that's been causing chaos and frustration in your life all along, and an understanding of why your brain just doesn't seem to do the things it's 'supposed' to do to operate easily within our structured, neurotypically-geared society.
There's something beautiful about that little word 'answer', right?! We all love to find a solid explanation for who we are and how we work.
But... not so fast. Because there's still something important that most professionals on a mission to understand themselves don’t realise about their ADHD symptoms and struggles - something that really has a profound impact.
So much so that it's fundamental to getting the right support to manage (or maybe even resolve) the issues we associate with ADHD.
Something which I have been in the very privileged position of understanding, thanks to my background in therapy and experience working with countless busy brains over the years.
And that's this.
Many of the struggles we experience in ADHD...
... difficulty focusing, impulsivity, rejection sensitivity, time blindness, emotional ups and downs, poor memory, lack of presence...
... are also inextricably linked with - and made much worse by - something else.
That something being: chronic anxiety. AKA - a dysregulated nervous system.
And the great news is that if anxiety IS part of the picture in any way, shape or form - which it is in at least 50% of individuals with ADHD (according to Katzman et al. 2017)...
... then working to reduce those anxiety levels and strengthen connections to the 'executive functioning' part of our brain (the left prefrontal cortex) can dramatically help to reduce the intensity of many of the issues we experience as ADHD.
For me, this has been a gamechanger.
In fact SO much so, that I only realised that many of the issues that I'd dealt with through therapy had probably been part of bigger picture neurodivergence, years AFTER having resolved them. Anxiety issues; RSD; brain fog; impulsivity; difficulty focusing; poor memory; struggles to stay present; the emotional rollercoaster - these were all issues that improved tremendously for me through therapy for anxiety alone, without any specific support for ADHD. Which for me, begs the question... if I hadn't accidentally ended up treating my anxiety, would I have been suffering way more now thanks to ADHD? Probably. Yes, I still have a brain that loves to butterfly on to the next bright idea.
I can still get lost in things I find fascinating and lose ALL track of time.
I'm still much better at the bigger picture stuff than the dull details... and, ok, I'm still prone to getting overexcited and impulsive! But it's now very manageable and actually something I welcome in my life, rather than being a constant struggle. I've built my own solutions and structures that help me cope and create effectively (through the wonders of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy) - and I wouldn't have my brain any other way.
I'm sure coaching would have helped me create many of these structures, too, and it would have been great to understand my energy levels and how to work with those a whole lot earlier, rather than painstakingly figuring that out and going through a few more overwork and burnout cycles than I'd have liked before finally nailing it!
But, damn, am I glad I'm no longer plagued by all that anxiety.
ADHD vs. Anxiety: The Overlap No One Really Talks About
Perhaps the best way I can describe ADHD and anxiety - is that they're like a pair of troublesome twins.
They're inextricably linked - and they wind each other up something chronic.
Many current theories would suggest that ADHD is CAUSED by trauma and anxiety, and it certainly makes sense - along with a more stimulating, overwhelming, pressured, stressed and dysfunctional social landscape than humans have ever had to cope with before - but I'm not sure we have a definitive 'yes' on exactly what's behind it. I could speculate for hours, and I have my own theories, but that's not why we're here!
As usual, the world of psychology and social science takes its best guess, the search for 'the facts' becomes an ongoing work in progress - and it's decided there are probably lots of factors both in terms of nurture and nature.
What IS certain is that ADHD has a tendency to create the perfect storm for anxiety to flourish (Gair et al., 2021) - making 'basic' functioning (like keeping to time), and social situations a huge challenge - and it can also hugely dent self-esteem if the unsuspecting ADHD sufferer feels they're constantly 'failing' to live up to expectations and function 'normally'.
And, as we said above, anxiety makes ADHD symptoms way worse by hijacking our intellectual, rational brain, stopping us accessing our powers of executive functioning, and amping up the emotional overwhelm just for good measure.
It's a vicious cycle.
What we also know is that the two are often confused - an article by Alarachi, Merrifield, McCabe et al. (2024) cautions against the growing tendency to misdiagnose and confuse anxiety and ADHD. Their findings emphasised that without carefully distinguishing between the two, people can end up receiving inappropriate treatment, which may not address the root cause of their struggles (potentially deepening all that anxiety and those feelings of failure).
As the article highlights, it's no surprise that there's confusion, even among the professionals working with ADHD on a daily basis - because the 'troublesome twins' share a huge degree of overlap.
Both can be behind:
✅ Difficulty concentrating and staying on task
✅ Emotional highs and lows
✅ Sensory overwhelm
✅ Rejection sensitivity
✅ Restlessness and difficulty sleeping
✅ Racing thoughts and mental exhaustion
✅ Procrastination and last-minute productivity bursts
✅ Difficulties with memory and recall
... to name just a few of the similarities. It's pretty hard to separate them - and as a therapist I'd say the lines are often so blurred as to make that impossible (I'm not qualified to diagnose, by the way, these are just clinical observations from someone who works with a lot of both conditions).
And while I, or even many mental health professionals, might not be able to easily tell them apart, what I can confidently say is this:
If you’ve been struggling with ADHD-type challenges but haven’t considered anxiety or emotional dysregulation as a factor - then it's worth asking yourself that question.
"Is this ADHD alone? Or could it be that my nervous system is stuck in survival mode, causing me to struggle more than I need to?"
And could it be that by dealing with any underlying trauma and anxiety and learning to look after my nervous system, I might better be able to decide what support - if any - I need specifically for ADHD?
Why It Matters (and What You Can Do About It)
The good news? As we said, if there's an element of your nervous system being a little too active and involved - whether that's thanks to ADHD or not - then addressing that can lead to a huge shift in focus, better emotional regulation, more productivity, more presence - and it can make coping with daily life a whole lot easier.
Here’s how sorting out that underlying, chronic, low level stress and anxiety can make all the difference:
1. Calming Your Nervous System Improves Focus
When your brain is constantly on high alert, focusing feels impossible. Your attention jumps from one thing to the next, not because you "lack discipline," or because you lack the capacity to focus at ALL, but because your system is in a state of high alert - a.k.a. constant hyperarousal and hypervigilance.
Solution Focused Therapy and nervous system regulation techniques can help shift your brain out of survival mode, making focusing and finishing feel far easier.
2. Executive Functioning Improves With Less Stress
Your prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and self-control - can’t function well when flooded with stress hormones. Stress literally slams the door in the face of your best reasoning skills and rational control.
Through calming anxiety and reducing chronic stress, we often see huge improvements in motivation, organization, and impulse control.
3. Rejection Sensitivity and Emotional Swings Can Be Reduced
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a HUGE issue for many ADHD sufferers - but it’s also a classic tell-tale symptom of unresolved trauma and anxiety. If you find yourself spiraling after perceived criticism, a good psychotherapist can help you rewire these emotional responses, making interactions and setbacks feel much less overwhelming.
4. Anxiety Can Become a Problem You Had in the Past - And It Might Be Your Missing Piece
We often feel ADHD is 'fixed' and unchangeable - something we have to cope with using long-term strategies - but where there's a desire to shift unhelpful reactions and responses, or an element of anxiety, actually the issues ADHD presents can often be significantly reduced or even resolved with the right therapeutic approach.
Working with the right therapist to find solutions and shift your habitual responses could completely transform your experience of daily life - as it did for me.
Should You Work With an ADHD Coach or a Therapist?
We've talked a lot about therapeutic support for ADHD here - so are we saying that therapy is the only answer and you shouldn't bother with ADHD coaching?
Not at all. We see coaching and therapy very much as different parts of the same journey - therapy is about making sure the car is ready for the road, fuelled up and ready to drive; coaching is about helping you navigate the twists and turns of that journey, and many coaches also like to mentor (meaning they've done the journey themselves and have valid experiences to lend).
We often blend coaching, therapy and mentoring together, here at The Better Brain Company - and we get awesome results for our clients - but we're not specialist coaches, and sometimes a little bit of specialist knowledge and training can feel like the icing on the cake.
As with any kind of coaching, specialist coaching for ADHD absolutely has its place and it can be life-changing, both in terms of working with someone who understands what's going on for you, and in terms of helping you to navigate the challenges of living with ADHD effectively.
Finding the Right ADHD Coach
Here are some other tips to help you find the right coach - it can be a minefield, so we're only too glad to help:
✅ Make sure your coach is properly trained, accredited and registered (with the relevant coaching bodies)
If you feel that strategies and structure would be beneficial after addressing the emotional side of ADHD, make sure your coach knows their onions and has a healthy track record of helping people like you - not just in terms of appearing to understand ADHD, but as a coach in general.
We wish we didn't have to say it - but there are some people out there doing a very good job of sounding very knowledgeable about ADHD; maybe even having powerful lived experience of ADHD - but that doesn't necessarily mean they know how to coach and work with others safely and effectively.
Knowledge and experience are great, but they're not what makes a great coach - only great coaching skills can do that.
✅ Get their opinion on therapy or other support pathways
A good coach should be happy to discuss whether they feel that therapeutic support or even alternative coaching support would be beneficial for you, without insisting you jump into their programme or making you feel uncomfortable about doing your homework. They should want what's best for you - whether that means working with them alone, or with them AND other supporting professionals, or referring on entirely.
We would hope that any decent coach would be on the lookout for red flags that might indicate you'd benefit from some therapeutic support - for example, to help you resolve trauma, overcome deeply ingrained social anxiety, or to help you through other mental health challenges - and it's unlikely that they would be sufficiently equipped to help with these areas, unless they are also a trained therapist themselves - so shouldn't hesitate to point you in the right direction.
✅. Don't rush in
Do your homework, take your time (I know, not always easy as an ADHDer, but it's well worth it!). It's worth following someone for a while, asking enough questions to feel completely comfortable, and making sure you really feel you can get on with your coach (or therapist!) before jumping in.
If you're in any doubt about whether to work with a coach or look at therapy first, we'd recommend therapy every time - it's often only by clearing out the emotional clutter that we can really see the way ahead and how we'd ideally like things to be, so therapy can actually act as a really great foundation and starting point for your coach to build upon.
You could even consider doing both together, if your coach is up for it and you're desperate to get going! Don't be afraid to ask.
✅. Beware the one-size-fits-all approach
Bedazzled by someone's clever list of productivity hacks? Systems and strategies can be great... but only if they actually work for you, personally.
A good coach should help you find tailored solutions that feel easy to implement and naturally make a positive difference in your life - not impose their own ideas and solutions on you. And a well-trained ADHD coach will know enough about the neuroscience and psychology of ADHD and anxiety to know how to help you arrive at the best result for your unique circumstances - and for your beautiful brain!
Final Thoughts
If you’ve identified with ADHD, I’m not here to tell you that ADHD isn’t real or that you don’t have it - hell no, it's VERY real and very much a challenge for many of us. But I am here to invite you to consider something that might be life-changing:
If anxiety and nervous system dysregulation are part of the picture, addressing them could make your ADHD symptoms far less of an issue - and for some people reading this, it might even reveal that anxiety, not ADHD, was the root cause of those struggles all along.
It's food for thought, and I hope it's been helpful! If you want to explore whether we could help you improve your focus, emotional balance, confidence and control - and put you in touch with a calmer, more centred and empowered version of yourself - then we'd love to help.
Book a chat with us here at The Better Brain Company - and let's talk about what might be possible.
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